It's not possible. You have to have Library/Developer on your internal/boot SSD for the simulator to operate. It's possible individual folders (except the ones that contain the simulators) can be symlinked but not the root Developer files as a whole.
Xcode and the Simulator are designed and intended to be installed to, and run from, your boot drive only. Alternate locations as in your example are unsupported and will always present issues...fix one and another, then another, then repeat each time you update Xcode, etc. etc.
Best to find a way to configure a default IDE, instead.
In your case, that would begin with the installation of a much larger SSD. Figure out how much drive space you need, then double that number...double it again if you want to lengthen the time before you outgrow.
Ok, thank you)