Previous poster @odin may have been joking but the microwave actually did the trick.
Tried listening to others, but with Siri disabled and no assistive touch to re-enable it I couldn't turn on airplane mode.
iPhone 14 Pro Max so SIM card to remove (eSIM)
Tried suspending service to my phone number via carrier's website but it would still receive cell signal, therefore stuck
So here's what I did:
Unplugged my WiFi
Unplugged my microwave
Put phone in microwave during boot
Shut microwave door
Phone starts with no service
Crack open microwave door just enough to tap through setup process (phone does receive some cell signal here)
Re-close door and signal drops to SOS, verification fails and I am prompted the iOS TOS.
Phone unlocks!
As ridiculous as it sounds, it sure as hell beats doing an entire restore.
Hope this helps someone work through this. Could build a faraday cage or go into a deep underground parking garage if you don't have a microwave.
Cheers.