Managed to fix this by running an older version of Xcode and then existing functionality returned.
Downloaded the version I was last on here: https://xcodereleases.com/
Open Terminal
Open Applications folder in Finder
Drag the Xcode app into Terminal so it gets its path
Then add this next to it: /Contents/MacOS/Xcode, so the full command will be something like /Applications/Xcode-12.5.1.app/Contents/MacOS/Xcode
you may have to run sudo infront of the open command but once you do that you'll get the xcode version you want and I can now wirelessly debug