I found a workaround, I'm using and old mac to transfer files. So my 12 years old Macbook is the star of my workflow. This is so cool...

I have several disk not ejecting properly, while using Amphetamine or similar to write down every 100ms (further wont work) and keep the disk alive works, I found out that formating the disk again makes the disk not disconnecting agin (let's see for how long) So this gives us an idea that maybe the OS has some trouble at some point, or maybe the disk, but it's fixable in some way. Someone with high level or understood in this area should be able to find a script to solve this without formating disk again. I tested this with two WD and two Seagate, all APFS encrypted HHD. I have 4 SSD different brands APFS encrypted and none had this problem never. And in a different topic, but maybe related, since I upgraded to Ventura and SOnoma I had 2 disk of 6 plugged, failed something with the encryption, unable to connect them, one brand new, and the other 2 years old, this makes too many coincidences with Ventura and Sonoma for failed disks.