Running into same thing. I went to Settings -> General -> Software Update and noticed that there's an iOS 18 update ready to be installed. I'm guessing that needs to be installed before the device can be paired with Xcode.
I can't install the update until the iCloud backup is restored though so I won't know until later.
Yoshi.S
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Was getting the same thing earlier - it looks like the virtual controller variable is falling out of scope - it eventually tries to call disconnect() but it's no longer there.
I had to define the GCVirtualController as a property of the view controller and this solved it:
var gameController: GCVirtualController?