Xcode 14 not managing my iphone on 16.4

I'm not a "coder", but I use xcode, and normally I can connect any iphone and manage app installations, but iphone 13 mini has 16.4 and my xcode version (I'm on Monterey do I need to upgrade again already?) 14.2 is unhappy with this phone.

I see all sorts of external sites telling me to modify files using non apple repos on github and that sounds just plain wrong. How do I find the Xcode SDK manager user interface or how to start using the xcselect tool?

Hmm so I upgraded to Ventura, but Xcode is still not showing me any clues yet as to when it will let me grab the updated SDK. I'm not a regular apple user, so it's probably hidden in plain sight, but any pointers on how to find would be great.

Xcode 14 not managing my iphone on 16.4
 
 
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