This is still happening in Sonoma 14.5.
For me, it was the new Messages + Screen Time integration, so the bug was happening mainly when Messages was open.
Our family had hundreds of "approval" plugins (asking for more time) in a Messages thread. Maybe it's only these really big threads, or maybe it's the Screen Time plugin is just buggy.
I deleted the affected threads and now don't let them get big like that anymore.
mherf
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